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Hollywood Tonite

“I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell.”

Ada Alasan

Ada alasan

Mengapa berat memiliki perasaan ini

Mengapa sulit rasanya untuk dekat

Mengapa kau begitu jauh di sana

Di bawah kilaunya sinar matahari

Sedangkan aku terbelenggu di bayang-bayangmu

Ada alasan

Mengapa aku tersenyum kecut

Mengapa aku merasa sedih

Mengapa aku terus membayangkan

Nyamannya berada di dalam pelukanmu

Ada alasan

Mengapa aku takut setiap aku ingin melangkahkan satu kakiku

Mengapa berat untuk menjadi aku yang sesungguhnya

Pandangan pertama tidak selalu benar

Selalu ada cangkang yang melindungi mutiara

Tapi aku melihat, kaulah mutiara

Mataku awas

Pikiranku waspada

Aku bisa melihatmu

Mutiara tanpa cangkang

Mutiara tanpa lapisan

Mutiara yang sesungguhnya

Tolong…

Tolong jangan lecehkan aku

Tolong jangan tolak aku

Tolong hargai aku

Tolong tersenyum padaku

Seperti aku tersenyum padamu

Aku hanya takut

Takut hingga air mata ini tak tertahankan lagi

Hanya bisa berharap

Berharap hingga mati rasanya harapan-harapan itu


Caramel

Caramel,

People said you are a kind of a bad boy

I think you’re just rebel and sociable

She just a pretty young thing

Not really sociable just like you and me

Your crush uninteresting for people like me

But maybe just like me, you wish to find a crush that could touch the other side of you


2 Days 1 Nite

In 2 days 1 nite,

The beginning and the ending happened

Don’t you know how does it feel?

Feels like I’m going through a roller coaster

The way you mad at them

The way you yell at them

The way you dress yourself

I found it attractive

The way you walk

The way you laugh

The way you do in the middle of people

I found myself breathless

Your eyes attract me to stare at you

But I’m always find out myself warn me to not stare too long and got caught

The way your dimples showed when you smile

And how perfect your wavy hair with that maroon beanie

The big lense glasses of you not block your charisma

Yes, charisma

The day I realized that you exist

I found myself excited for the next day

But next day also my final day

The announcement of your retirement

Will I be able to meet you again?


Books, movies, musics,

Photography, travel, fashion

Crafting, drawing

I love all of these but I don’t know

What I want to be


I Don’t Understand

I don’t understand what society wants me to do

Whenever I go, there is some comments that bring me down

I spent money for other people

And parents judged me down when I’m running off money

They also judged me back then when I’m limited my cashflows

All you have to do is just drive me back to be greedy

When I was liking K-pop, you are all said they’re gay or transgender and you all saw this as disgusting

Now, when Hallyu Wave come in,

Look at yourself all the way up screaming down your oppa’s name, cheering him like he ever know you

You were said I’m freak for doing all those things

Now when I’m liking back bands such as 30 Seconds To Mars,

You also said I’m freak and abnormal

You motherfucka, are nothing but pigs

I think I was born to be hated

But I’m proud of myself

Because you are all the sam but I’m different


A Letter For God

God…

I’m just human that nothing compared to your Almighty

Who am I in the first place to be compared with you

Even I don’t deserve to be compared with other human

There are still so many humans that better than me

I am sorry, God

For making the same mistakes again

I forgot who am I

I forgot that everything in my life is Your give

Now I remember all

The day I become arrogant

The day I become selfish

The day where I feel greater than anyone

I know my flaws

But I choose to make it legal as a part of me

Instead of suppress the flaws and be low

I even make it as a part of me so I careless with the others

I am sorry, Jesus

And tonight on my bed,

Your face flashes on my mind

And these tears seems cannot stop

But swifter

I see you,

Open your hands

And ready to accept me back

I se you,

Sit with my head on your lap,

You comb my hair with your fingers

And that scene makes me sob even harder

Sob in my smile

Bitter….

I was ashame first with myself

For asking apologizes and back to you

I feel so undeserve

But after I push aside my feeling

I feel relax and loved

I believe what the Bible says

That you won’t leave your sheeps, my Lord

Here tonight, God

I’m begging your help

Save me, God

Please, save me

Please, help me

Please, give me your little miracle

Please is all I can say

Plead is all I can do, God


The Boy

This tall skinny boy is my friend

And like a wind, he come & gone in my circle

He got his crush as his girlfriend

And what surprise me she is similiar with me

We don’t like being called ‘baby’ too much

We don’t like intense attentions

We need our own time

We feel unmood after he argued

About what we did

And what we sure

It’s not I like him or something

I’m just wondering…..

But I had no one to talk to

The other won’t believe what I say

They’re too much into romantic and something


Curse

Can not explain my feeling anymore

I want to curse

But myself hold me back

I don’t want to look alike uneducated person

So curse is not a good choice

But I still had this bitter feeling

I don’t want to cry because I’m tired of crying

Please God help me

I need more a little of your kindness and miracle


Till the bitter end.


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